you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize