no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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