I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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