i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
