I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
