you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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