So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
