Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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