We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
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I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
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I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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