Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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