Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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