guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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