Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Let's get the cat blown out
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
