My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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