you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
