i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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