the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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