My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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