We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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