The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
