this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
