so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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