I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
