Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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