i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
