Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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