You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
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my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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