Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize