i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...