I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We're using joints as your birthday candles
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??