Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
