"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
