I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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