he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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