I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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