Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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