im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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