She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
