there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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