It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
