oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
