they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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