Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
