You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize