i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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