In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
