Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just had sex on a roof
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
