It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
