my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
should my penis look like a turkey
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize