Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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