He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
