there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
time to smoke my breakfast
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
