He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
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So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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