And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
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Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize