Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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