Your dad touched me again.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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