did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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