so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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